First Thought on Adulting

Hai guys! I have an important information for y'all: I ruined my own blogger template (theme?) and it stressed me quite a lot. Well, I'm stressed about so many other things too, just thankfully I'm better at managing it now.

I come here and finally decided to write despite the ugliness of my blog looks rn because I came to a realization:

Why am I worrying TOO MUCH? Come on Fan...

So yeah, these days I've been busy thinking about my future, what I need to do to 'prepare' myself for it. I put a lot of pressure to myself to start making my writing 'career' (I want myself to start writing in various channels like Medium, Wattpad, Quora, everywhere, I want to self-brand myself as a writer lol, lame huh?)

And dude, isn't it somehow depressing? Ahaha... It is. 

It's true indeed that I need to prepare myself for the future, for the... career, job opportunities, start making money even, yeah... adulting. But it's honestly saddening how everything seem and feel so forced, do I really need to do this? Is this the right way to be an adult?

The never ending "what if..."s, not to mention the comparison game... looking at people my age who are already achieving stuffs I can only imagine having... Oh, please, stop.

Does it have to be this... sad?

Does adulting really have to feel like waving goodbye to good old days?

Am I bad at it if I don't follow some standards?

Is there even any rule to be an adult? You have to do this, stop doing this, etc etc?

Is money everything?

Why is it that instead of exciting, it's starting to be kinda... terrifying?

Am I doing this right?

Do I have to be like everyone else at last?

...

Am I going to nail it or fail it?

Please tell me everything is going to be okay