I'm just about to ditch you anyway,
so please go before I can hurt you.

When your heart's still tied somewhere else,
do you have the right to give someone else a hope?

Still lost somewhere in the past,
my mind is puzzled, my heart is paused
because my world is still him
after all these times
Silly, I know :)

- I hope I know how to stop, tho
I get bored too, finding my heart's still waiting for him
over and over again

I'm tired too, so please.
If you have any intention to come back, do it now

(Menunggu) Yang Terakhir

Kemarin, aku merayakan banyak "terakhir" dalam hidupku. Bukan "banyak" juga sih, dan mungkin sebenarnya para"terakhir" itu juga bukan benar-benar yang terakhir. Ha ha... jadi kenapa sok-sokan dirayakan segala?

Aku tau, mungkin di suatu postingan lama di blog ini aku sudah pernah mendeklarasikan ke-move on-an ku dari cinta pertamaku. Tapi ya gitu, mudah ditebak, nyatanya aku memang belum move on, sampai kemarin. Ralat, (semoga) sampai kemarin, saja.

Kenapa tiba-tiba sadar kalau belum move on Fan?

Soalnya masih baper.

Ciyeee jujur

Ya lagian dia ga bakal baca ini :/

Terus kalau dia baca?

Haha, exactly why me goes around throwing codes

Ha? Soalnya ga bakal ada yang ngerti itu soal mereka?

Yupseee~

Yakin amat -_- 

Yakin dong, kan udah ada Bukti dari Virgoun

Karepmu -_- btw ga konsisten amat sih, tadi di atas banget mendeklarasikan kalo akhirnya move on, ini ditanyain "kenapa tiba-tiba sadar kalau belum move on," lo jawab-jawab aja bukannya mengelak. Gimana sih -.-

He he... 

Karena aku masih, masih, masih saja belum berpindah 

Aku tidak mau (lagi) berkata 'sudah' ketika hatiku berkata 'belum' 

Berlebihan, memang. Alay, mungkin. Drama, biar! 

Sekarang yang aku butuhkan adalah seseorang yang sanggup menghentikan kemageran hatiku untuk berpindah dari 'dia' ... Aku butuh seseorang yang bisa membuatku 100% melupakan 'dia'. Seseorang yang bukan sekadar singgah, namun berlabuh.

Semoga saja ada. Semoga saja segera.  Kutunggu :) 

 
dan ya gimana ya, selama aku masih menunggu 'yang terakhir' itu maka tulisan soal 'yang pertama' seperti ini berarti mungkin akan masih ada lagi wkwkwkw~

Sefruit Ke-Kunfused-an

Sadness is indeed, addicting. Turning yourself into a sad state is like entering a safe mode which actually is very dangerous. But like Mark rapped, the danger of 'you' makes me want to dig deeper and deeper. Sadness is like that. I want to drown myself in it, as deep as I can, until it becomes me. And there's always this rejection from my body whenever I feel happy. As if I was born to be sad.

But sad is tiring and dangerous. Sadness will eat your mind, chew chew chew... Sadness kills you because as time goes, it makes you unable to see any lights, you'll become so empty and hopeless. Everything makes you sad and you just don't want to do anything anymore because you think that's useless, you're gonna be sad again anyway. For some people this doesn't make sense, but for some other, including me, it does. You'll have to experience it first, maybe, so you'll understand.

I, thankfully, still function. I'm not very different tho. It's not like I'm medically diagnosed to anything. So I made up so many theories about my condition. In random times I googled stuffs like "Why I don't want to live anymore"; "I don't care about succeeding in life"; etc -- edgy stuffs -- the answers are often related to depression, anxiety, bipolar and things like that. Well, I don't want to self-diagnosed so............................. I remain clueless.

Sometimes I come up with the theory that this is just my weird personality. Like, MBTI online tests said I'm an INFJ, or INFP/INTP/INTJ. All those are described as 'weirdos' who don't fit in the society and have unique point of view. I can act like I'm fine after 'brainwashing' myself with those stuffs BUT again... that doesn't last long and I'll be clueless again in no time, mainly because I start to judge myself for being too obsessed with those 4 letters. "You can't really say who you really are based on online personality test, self!" Ugh~

Other theory is: YOU'RE JUST AN ACTUAL LAZY HUMAN TRASH. Okay... this makes a lot of sense tho. Very rational and has many evidences. But? But I function pretty well at times and people trust me (give me responsibilities, ask for my helps, etc) SO I'm not very trashy, right?

THEN WHY?

Why am I so............................. tired of living?

another theory: you're just a normal human and it's normal for everyone to have bad days, like sometimes you're low... you can't hustle 24/7 with no probs at all. This is just your low days...

NO

NO


LIKE I MEAN...


I'm actually honestly frankly LOW all the times, all days... I don't want to be cool, great, famous, successful. I just want to lay on my bed, watching Youtube and drama, eat, bake, cook, read, write, travel a little, talk with my loved ones... L.I.K.E COME ON~ what for are all these tasks, college stuffs and bla bla bla? None of these will drastically affect my future, won't it? :(((

Suatu Teriakan Minta Tolong Yang Tidak Jelas

 Aku bukan Irene yang cantik, friendly walaupun introvert, karismatik, tegas, bisa diandalkan, dewasa, tenang, cerdas, dan percaya diri...

 Aku bukan Jun yang keren, smart, optimis, ambisius, bisa jadi leader yang baik, public speaking-nya bagus, fleksibel, dan yakin dengan dirinya...

Aku juga bukan Solar yang percaya diri, menyenangkan, mudah disukai, heboh, mood-maker, pinter, jadi panutan banyak orang, dan bisa merangkul orang-orang...

Aku hanyalah Fani yang mageran, tidak percaya diri, kaku, ragu-ragu, menyebalkan, baperan, pesimis, tidak suka tantangan, mudah tersinggung, malas, suka menunda, dan aneh...
.
.
.
.
.
Aku takut, bagaimana tidak? Aku hanyalah seseorang yang menyukai kemudahan dan kepraktisan.

Aku tidak percaya diri karena selama ini aku lebih suka menghindar daripada menghadapi.

Aku... harus bagaimana? :")  

There's no way back, wes kebacut teles, kudu pie? 

GUSTI TULUNG!!! 

Kenapa Drama Harus Didownload dan Diikuti Tiap Minggu

Judul yang berfaedah tapi ya begitulah, memang perlu dijelaskan mengapa drama harus didownload dan bukan hanya ditonton daring alias streaming. Tentu saja semua orang punya preferensi masing-masing soal menonton drama. Ada yang berprinsip kalau nonton drama harus live biar sama sensasinya seperti orang Korea dan tidak melanggar hak cipta (mungkin), ada yang lebih suka streaming atau tanpa download biar nggak menuh-menuhin storage, ada juga yang sukanya download macem aku. Di antara yang streaming dan download ini juga masih ada dua tim: tim binge watcher dan tim ngikutin tiap minggu. Tim binge adalah mereka yang nunggu sampai satu drama selesai (misal 16 episode tamat) baru deh maraton nonton dari episode 1-terakhir. Tim yang satunya dengan setia nonton tiap ada episode baru keluar. 

Aku adalah tim download dan ngikutin tiap minggu. Kenapa?

This are why I'm team download and no-binge! Kalau drama didownload itu...

1. Nonton tanpa buffer 

Kalau streaming dan internet lemot kan suka macet-macet tuh :( ga asik kan... 

2. Bisa bagi-bagi ke temen

Sejak SMA aku udah jadi bandar drama 😎 jadi ya... ga bisa dong kalau streaming. Aku merasakan kebahagiaan sih kalau bisa ngasih rekomendasi drama yang bagus ke orang lain, terus ngasih orang itu file dramaku dan orang tersebut bener-bener suka drama yang kukasih ehehehe... Seneng karena bisa berbagi dan berasa brand ambassador ga resmi dari drama favorit gitu 😜

3. Gampang kalau mau re-watch!

Sering tuh aku mengalami drama-slump alias mager mau nonton drama baru nggak tau kenapa. Males aja rasanya, berat gitu. Nah di saat-saat seperti itu kadang aku berusaha mengobati dengan nonton drama-drama lama kesukaan. Easy, tinggal buka folder drama dan pilih judul yang diinginkan di episode yang dirindukan. Asik rasanya pas cari-cari "adegan itu ada di episode berapa ya... hmmm menit mana ya" gitu 😅 Pernah juga re-watch full episode saking gabutnya dan ga ada tontonan lain ha ha... 

No-binge because.... 

1. Lebih sehat

LOL... tapi bener sih ;-; mungkin ga sehatnya cuma di jantung yang deg-degan tiap hari-H mendekat (?) 

2. Terbangun ikatan dengan drama :")

Okay alay .... 😳  tapi beneran loh, kalau kita setia nungguin tiap minggu, episode baru keluar kita langsung download, terus langsung nonton, begitu seterusnya sampai ending (sekitar 2 bulan) rasanya jadi berat gitu mau berpisah sama karakter-karakter yang ada karena they've grown with us gitu. Kita ngikutin kisah mereka, perjuangan mereka, gimana mereka bertumbuh dalam alur drama...  secara ga instan gitu, kalau binge kan cuma berapa hari jadi kurang nge-feel sih menurut pengalamanku :'') Drama-drama yang susah banget rasanya mau pisah tuh ada: Signal, Buamdong Revenge Social Club, Solomon Perjury, Forest of Secret. Rasanya udah sayang banget sama tokoh-tokohnya ha ha... Oiya ada sih special case di Reply 1988, aku nontonnya binge dan rasanya tetep sedih harus pisah :'') wkwkkww tapi ya Reply 1988 emang spesial sih ya 😚

3. Spoiler free~! 

IYA... karena sebelum dapet spoiler kita udah nonton duluan yeay! Kalau udah kena spoiler pun, ga perlu berlama-lama baper atau penasaran, langsung download dan tonton! Hehe... 

4. Ga numpuk dan selalu up to date

Tiap bulan ada aja drama baru rilis, kalau kita rajin ngikutin drama kita bisa langsung pindah ke drama baru dst. Sedangkan kalau binge... biasanya sih gini: minta drama yang udah selesai ke temen >> dikasih beberapa drama >> nontonin maraton satu-satu >> ketinggalan drama baru >> drama kemarin belum selesai udah dikasih drama lain lagi sementara drama baru lainnya udah mulai #lhah 😅😅😅😅

💙💚💛💜

Sekian opini dariku~ semoga (tidak) berfaedah 😂 karena kalau berfaedah rasanya membohongi diri-sendiri 😑

Re-opening a Chapter: First Love (?)

 -Pinterest-

[Play: David Archuleta - A Little Too Not Over You first before continue 😂]

"Ya enggak sih, aku cuma mikir aja kok kita jadi kayak bukan siapa-siapa, ga kenapa-napa sih, lagian aku udah menduga bakal gini..."

"Nggak, nggak. Poinnya aja Kak. Iya atau nggak?" 

Hening. Ragu. Kemudian... "Iya, kangen." 

Di atas adalah penggalan percakapanku dengan Piyo dalam perjalanan pulang dari rumah Mak (nenek) ku tadi. Di bawah payung unguku dan guyuran hujan yang belum habis sejak siang, aku tanpa sadar membuka lagi lembaran kisah masa SMP ku yang pahit manis; cinta pertama.

I miss him as a friend tho... not as my first love. 

It's ridiculous that I always address him as my first love. Who's he afterall? Isn't he just some random friend who once had a crush on me and me on him? 

But he's the first boy who made me cry... 

Do you mean he's the first guy who hurt you? 

Yeah in a way but... it's because I cried so much over him that I know how much he made me happy too. . . and I guess he never intended to hurt me, we were just middle schoolers with nearly zero bad intentions I guess ._.

Still... he made you happy and then left. What's good about that?

Ehmmm... I think it's good, errr, it was good because it wasn't unrequitted. You know, it was the only time my 'love' was requitted~ 

LOL HOW LAME... 

Whatever, it's still heart warming to remember tho 😑😑😑😑😑😑 

You'll only make him feel superior 

Ah, he won't even bother 

So it's now unrequitted, huh? 

Geez, I don't like him anymore, I just miss him AS A FRIEND because after the first love story ended we were still good friends!

.

.

. 

Ya, begitulah, aku hanya ingin mengatakan, "Oy, kangen main bareng," pada seseorang yang dulu suka random ngajak main. Namun aku, obviously, nggak ada nyali -yang ada cuma gengsi- buat bilang beneran, jadi... terbitlah postingan absurd ini.

Terkadang kamu muncul pas scrolling IG nyo... jan nggarai gatel pengen basa-basi tapi gah lah, koe mesti ra menaki og nek nyauri aku haha :") suudzon yo biar lah~ 

.

.

. 

Seandainya untuk sekali saja aku bisa kembali ke hari Senin, 26 April ketika kita masih duduk di bangku kelas 6. . .

Touch the person you like~!

 .   .   .   . 

  I stepped forward and put my hand on your left shoulder... 

I blushed . You blushed . We blushed . 

:') 

Convertible Laptop I Wanttt (and Need)

Hi! Happy New Year y'all~! Another year has passed without any progressive progress with my blogging life but so what? I still love writing, sharing my random thoughts, and rant here anyway 🤣🤣

New year, new ... what? I used to say stuffs like 'new year, new me' or 'new year, new goals'... BUT we all know they were all empty jargons 🦄🦄🦄 ←← just discovered these cute emoticons on blogger and you'll see me overusing it because "CUTE THINGS FOR LYFE!" is my forever jargon 🐼 

Okay okay, let's jump to the point of this post: NEW YEAR, NEW LAPTOP! Please....... 😣😣😆😆

One of the coolest author, designer, entrepreneur; DIANA RIKASARI is helding a giveaway with ASUS! They're giving out TWO ASUS VivoBook Flip 14 TP410! Whats so cool about this laptop? And why do I want (and need) it? Lemme tell you, mate... 

1. The Body 💃

 As you can see on the picture above, this laptop is convertible into 4 different positions! Look at the pic from below; usual laptop, fold it into a tablet, or it can stand in two styles. Of course with 4 different positions, the laptop is more multifunction. We can use it as a normal laptop, this way I can do my college tasks like making presentation, writing papers, or editing stuffs. Also, to be a better blogger, I plan to learn more about pics & video editings this year; (audio editings for better song covers too!) new laptop will help much! 🙆 As a tablet, it's gonna be more comfortable for me if I want to watch Oppa while sleeping on bed  😏😏 the standing positions too, are perfect for watching Oppa 😍😍😍 well, am I being too honest here?

 https://aminoapps.com/c/k-drama/page/blog/retro-drama-recommendation/2vPs_Nur12WKKV4eNYn571R5VzGnV5j

The multifunctional body is also very light-weight! It's only 1,6kg with 14,8mm thickness. Yes it's slim and smoll but the Nano-Edge technology makes it possible to have a 13-inch laptop 'look' with 14-inch screen! It is also full 1080p HD and features 178˚ wide-view technology to ensure that I can conveniently do a group project because the screen can clearly be seen even from sharp angles means I can see Oppa vividly from every sides too 😍~ 

It's essential for a blogger to need a high-quality keyboard that is comfortable for typing, isn't it? This ASUS VivoBook Flip 14 TP410 comes with a superb keyboard. The keyboard is carefully designed, it has just the right amount of keys and the keys are full-size make it perfect for fast-typing. Sometimes I type very fast because my mind is overflowing with random thoughts so haha...  It's also gonna be okay for me to type in dark environments since the keyboard features ambient light control! Such a brilliant keyboard✨! (Already got excited about typing posts using it 😓 don't expect too much, self~ that's what 2017 taught us)


 2. The Inside 💗

Not only the body is breathtaking, the inside of this laptop is amazing too. With 🎆 Intel Core i7-7500u 🎆 processor, this laptop works fast till 3,5GHz speed. The processor helps us who need a lot of computing works such as video or graphic editing, it can speed up the proccess and there's less lag. Not only it is fast, the processor is also energy saving so I don't have to be panic looking for power outlet in the middle of preparing a presentation! (like I always do with my current laptop :"). Pssst, if we charge it fully, the battery can even last for 10h! It's gonna be very useful because my campus lacks power outlets 🙊 and I can watch Oppa without low-battery interruption 😂

Windows 10 is also already installed on this ASUS VivoBook Flip 14 TP410, so if I really get it (Amen) I can directly use it without having to install it myself. Less trouble! 

The storage of this laptop is also breathtakingly BIG! With two types of storage: SSD and HDD. The Solid Style Drive as big as 128GB will make everything works smoothly within the device. The HDD will let us (ME :') save as many as files for it has 1TB capacity!!! 1TB is heaven for saving my college projects (journals, e-books, ppts, etc etc) and all my Korean Dramas collection 😹😹😹 

Self, can you please stop connecting everything with Korea stuffs?

https://giphy.com/explore/korean-dramas

One more important information y'all need to know! This ASUS VivoBook Flip 14 TP410 has 2 years of guarantee! Get it for free + the guarantte would be a double combo :') 💕

It's one month more until I start new semester and I'm very excited for this semester because I have a feeling it's gonna be fun with more challenges await for me to tackle! 💪 Winning this giveaway will be a perfect 'start-present' for me (if that even exists lol) because I'm definetely gonna work on more papers, presentations, editings, and Korea stuffs this year. I'm sure about this because... yeah because it's always like that in college, right? More semester = more assignments 😌 hey what's with the Korea stuffs? Oh, yeah, there's bunch of good dramas I can't wait to watch and I plan to blogging more, about Korea, of course ~🙈 so yeah...

Bye~! 🙇🙇🙇

references:

•  https://www.asus.com/2-in-1-PCs/ASUS-VivoBook-Flip-14-TP410UR/
• https://tirto.id/spesifikasi-vivobook-flip-14-tp410-perangkat-2-in-1-dari-asus-cAL4
•  https://www.pemmzchannel.com/2017/11/27/overview-asus-vivobook-flip-14-tp410/
• https://www.droidlime.com/artikel/asus-vivobook-flip-tp410-laptop-convertible-ringkas-bertenaga.html
• http://laptoping.com/cpus/product/intel-core-i7-7500u/